The Dilettante Club

Dilettante –
Main Entry: dil·et·tante Pronunciation: 'di-l&-"tänt, -"tant; "di-l&-'Function: nounInflected Form(s): plural -tantes or dil·et·tan·ti /-'tän-tE, -'tan-tE/Etymology: Italian, from present participle of dilettare to delight, from Latin dilectare -- more at DELIGHT1 : an admirer or lover of the arts2 : a person having a superficial interest in an art or a branch of knowledge : DABBLER synonym see AMATEUR


Dilettante Club History
While discussing hobbies (or a lack thereof) over cocktails one evening, members of the yet-to-be-formed dilettante club noted that they had no hobbies because they could not maintain an interest in any one thing long enough for it to become a hobby. Sure, we're all fascinating, accomplished women who can talk to anyone about a variety of interests for about 10 minutes. But once we move into the 11-12 minute range, our depth of subject matter becomes noticeably limited.

Rather than lamenting this, the founders decided to embrace it and form a club. (And, in true dilettante fashion, had to re-schedule the organizational meeting and ultimately, postpone it indefinitely).

Each month, one of the founding four members: Amanda, Amy, Kathleen and Nicole, suggests and plans an activity for the group, which is then documented on this blog. The activity is analyzed based on a set of criteria we developed.

Selection criteria for activities:

• All activities are one-time events that run for a period of no more than five hours
• All activities have a registration fee of $100 or less
• All activities take place in the Washington, DC metro area
• All activities must be active so that participants learn something new.
• All activities must end with a de-brief and recap over drinks and food.

Dilettante Creed:

• I will try anything once
• I will remain open-minded when trying a new activity
• I will be respectful of the activity, the activity leader and other participants
• I will approach every activity as the learning opportunity that it is
• I will not shy away from any activity no matter how potentially humiliating or painful.
• (Recently added) I will not touch anyone I don't know during an activity.

By the way, research suggests that exposing yourself to a variety of interests and activities keeps your mind young and can stave off diseases like Alzheimer's. And bring on diseases like Attention Deficit Disorder.

Your dilettantes:

Amanda: Amanda is a veteran dilettante whose dabblings include sports (gymnastics, soccer, volleyball, skiing, and one season on a Mormon basketball team that she doesn’t like to talk about), music (violin, bass, cello, piano, and voice), academics (international relations, business, urban planning, and economics), and vocations (pizza girl, receptionist, development worker, and financial analyst). She speaks several languages (German, Vietnamese, Indonesian, and French) at a novice to amateur level.

Her proudest dilettante moment was receiving a certificate for successfully riding atop an elephant on a beach in Vietnam. That, or appearing in a video with Shadow Stevens her senior year in high school.

Amanda lives in Washington, DC with her husband Leon, beer aficionado and self-proclaimed bon vivant.

Kathleen: Kathleen’s dilettante past includes tennis, cello, marathons, calligraphy, guitar, fencing, stand-up comedy, clarinet, tap dancing, juggling, painting, bowling, yo-yo tricks, movie extra work, and holding 10 jobs in 15 years in a variety of industries including network security, guns, concrete and advertising.

Her proudest dilettante moments include making the Guinness Book of World Records for tap dancing, placing third in the Les Halles Bastille Day race, and winning the "Wittiest" superlative at her seventh grade end-of-year dance. (She was wearing a terry cloth dress at the time.)

Kathleen lives in Oakton, Virginia with her husband Tim, daughter Avery, and cats Brooke and Seamus. She loves to host theme parties and has a love/hate relationship with all things celebrity.


Nicole: Nicole’s dilettante past includes sports such as soccer, field hockey, skiing, and dancing (most of which she participated in to wear the cute uniforms). She has also dabbled in piano, photography, graphic design, jewelry making, knitting, aerobics, kick-boxing, and spinning. Professionally, the dabblings run the gamut from a stint with a boiler manufacturer to doing event planning and marketing for several high tech companies in the Dulles technology corridor.

Her proudest dilettante moment was being dubbed “dirty dirndl” girl in the Washington Post, making her hometown of Lancaster, PA, prouder than ever. That, or winning an award in third grade for best "bubble writing."

Nicole lives in Ashburn, Virginia with her husband, Dan and rescued Greyhound, Rocky.

Amy: From an early age, Amy's dilettante ventures developed for practical reasons; playing flute in the band (to avoid gym class), joining the yearbook staff (to ensure lots of pictures of herself and her friends) and learning sign language (necessary to enhance her talent for the Kentucky Junior Miss pageant). These tendencies continued through college -- changing majors multiple times and finally settling on one major (Accounting) and two minors.

Prior to founding the club, other activities included dog agility, one marathon, baton twirling, tennis, needlepoint, flag football, spelunking, organ, jazz, tap and en pointe ballet dancing, gymnastics and a wet t-shirt contest.

Amy lives in Arlington, Virginia, with her husband, Pete (who also harbors dilettante tendencies), son, Charles, and their two dogs and two cats.

October 2009 Activity -- Horror Makeup

Thursday, October 22, 2009

8:45-10:00pm

The Soundry, Vienna, VA, www.thesoundry.net

Cost: $27/person (instruction and supplies)

The course description on The Soundry website said, "Make your scary Halloween costume truly grotesque with this workshop on horror makeup. Learn simple techniques for creating authentic-looking flesh wounds, wrinkled skin, bulbous lesions, and more with liquid latex, fake blood, and face paint."

Soundry -- you had us at "authentic-looking flesh wounds."

Since it was a school night, we met at Bazin's for dinner and drinks in advance of our activity. (Two words: yum). Dilettante Amanda brought along some Tupperware she was returning to Dilettante Kathleen and a couple of other things that she had in a brown paper bag that she placed under the table during dinner. (Remember this fact...it will be important later.)

After our meal, we headed around the corner to The Soundry for our class. We met Jordana, the instructor, on our way in and went into the back of the space to get set up at a table. She provided each of us with our own tubes of black, white and green makeup, some liquid latex, a tube of fake blood and a palette of assorted colors of cream makeup.  Oh, and we also each got a container of a product called, "creepy skin." (Why did we not know about this when we were dating? Do you know how many bad dates this stuff could have prevented us from suffering through? When I remarket this as "Bad Date Ender" it will include the instructions: Go into restroom. Return sporting hideous growth. Bad date over.)  It's genius, really. (Except that some of the guys I dated may have been into that sort of thing. But that's a story for another blog.)

Jordana began by teaching us how to do Zombie faces (blending the black is the key -- you don't want to look too raccoon-like). The Zombie faces were super-scary -- especially when she used a stippling sponge to add blood all around Amanda's mouth. (And as scary as that was, it did not rival the horror of Amy's comment about her husband getting some "zombie strange" later that night.)

Amy took off to the bathroom with her creepy skin and returned with a bullet hole in the middle of her forehead that was dripping blood. It was exceptionally realistic and quite disturbing. Jordana transformed Nicole into a witch by adding a bulbous nose and black and green makeup to her face until she was unrecognizable and then did a scary skeletal hand out of liquid latex on Kathleen's hand that was dripping blood.

At about this time, Amanda remembered that she had left her bag at Bazin's and stated simply, "oh, well, I'll just pick it up after class." (Forgetting, of course, that she was now a flesh-eating zombie.) We did end up going to Bazin's when our class ended. The handful of people at the bar were amused by our makeup yet the Bazin's staff appeared to have no sense of humor at all. Especially when I wrote down my name and phone number for them to call me when they located the bag, and dripped blood onto their notepad.

Dilettantes featured in the Washingtonian

Washingtonian Blogger Beat -- The Dilettante Club

(Thanks to Columnist Emily Leaman -- this was a blast.)

September 2009 Activity -- Bridge

Tuesday, September 29, 2009
6:30pm - 9:00pm
Dilettante Amy's house -- Arlington, VA
Instructor: John -- (jkuchen at verizon dot net)
Cost: A six pack of Oktoberfest beers and our gratitude

You really have to hand it to our bridge instructor, John (get it? hand? like a card hand? I'll pause while the hilarity ensues...) He has been playing bridge for 20 years and attempted to teach us in 2 1/2 hours what he normally takes eight weeks to teach his beginning bridge students. His goal for the night was to teach us just enough to be able to decipher the bridge column in the Washington Post.

Using the Standard American Bidding system (and probably 100% of his patience reserves), John taught us some bridge basics (using Disney and Dog Breed cards -- thanks to Dilettante Amy.)

We learned the point values assigned to certain cards, how the suits ranked, how to make contracts, the rules for opener, what trump and notrump mean, and how to determine the longest suit while playing a few practice hands. (Dilettante Kathleen managed to get some awesome cards during the first two hands, so she just sat back while Dummy (it's a bridge term -- I swear!) Nicole did all the work. Amy manged to pull a couple of bad hands, so every time it was her turn, she simply retreated into a fetal position with her head on the table.

There is a lot to know about bridge rules and terminology, and a lot of strategy. It is a little overwhelming to the novice. Especially the novice with a short attention span. However, there is also just enough colorful bridge language to keep things fun. To wit:

• When vulnerable, if you go down a lot you might win the game but still lose the rubber
• That's a stiffy
• She's the dummy

And Dilettante Kathleen's favorite:

• Now switch partners

John obviously knew his stuff and in spite of ourselves, I think we actually learned something. At the end of our activity, we went through the Washington Post bridge column and understood some of it. Mission accomplished.

No de-brief was necessary as we enjoyed some pizza and beer while we played cards. Pretty efficient, huh?

August 2009 Activity -- High Ropes Challenge Course

Sunday, August 30th
12:00pm - 2:00pm
Terrapin Adventures
Savage, MD
Cost: $49/person

This high ropes course takes you 40 feet high and through 17 different (and progressively challenging) traverses using a continuous belay system. (Translation: the only thing between you and certain death is a decent sense of balance and one short rope.)

The Dilettantes checked in at the Terrapin Adventures office and were outfitted with harnesses and helmets. (EXTREMELY IMPORTANT NOTE: Men who are participating in this adventure would be advised to wear jeans or khaki shorts. Some of the men there were wearing gym shorts, and let's just say that the way the harnesses fit over the flimsy material let us know that our group included some of our Jewish brothers.)

From there, we walked outside and stood in line to get attached to our belay and begin the challenge course by climbing up a ladder to the first platform and having an instructor "show us the ropes." (That pun was not nearly as satisfying as it sounded in my head.) For anyone with even a tiny bit of a fear of heights...this first ascent (yes...just up a ladder) was intimidating.

You know how there is always someone in every group that makes you wonder how many bricks of hash his mom smoked when she was pregnant? There was a total Meathead in our group who was loud and obnoxious and pretty much a total idiot. While he was doing one of the zip line traverses, he screamed at the top of his lungs, "Ow, my nuts!" (Which is funny enough on its own, but even funnier considering that was the name of the game show in the movie Idiocracy. Purpose of the show: to hit people in the groin area with heavy objects, causing them to scream, "Ow, my nuts!") (As you may imagine, Idiocracy is a Dilettante favorite.)

Because she is hilarious, when it was Dilettante Amanda's turn on the zip line (right after Meathead's), she got about midway across and screamed, "Ow, my nuts!" as loudly as she could, causing us all to die laughing.

Speaking of which, there was a lot less giggling and joking than in a usual Dilettante activity. We had to focus and summon up courage to do things like jump from a perfectly good platform into mid-air 40 feet off the ground (in a maneuver called "the flying squirrel") and hook ourselves to a zip line, hoping we had done it correctly. Every ounce of strength we had was required for things like crossing the rope net and balancing on small wooden platforms way up in the sky.

But you know what? We did it. Dilettante Nicole (who is terrified of heights) made it to the second level; and Dilettantes Amanda, Amy and Kathleen conquered the whole course (after much screwing up of courage and about twenty minutes watching other people on the third level). We all finished the activity with a huge sense of accomplishment (and some very sore arm muscles).

Celebratory beers and lunch followed at the Rams Head Tavern (which had more of an Applebee's than a tavern ambience, complete with entrees named "Sammich"), which was walking distance from the ropes course. Our waitress was a bit of a question mark who seemed to alternately think she was at a Grateful Dead show and remember that she was serving us in a restaurant. (We ordered all of our food without mushrooms, just to be on the safe side.)

We are rock stars and are still rocking some serious bruises from this little adventure.

July 2009 Activity -- Kangoo Jumps

Kangoo Jumps Class
Sunday, July 19, 2009
10:00-11:00am
Golds Gym
Woodbridge, VA
$10/person
http://kangoojumps.com

Kangoo Jumps is an aerobics class. That you do while wearing contraptions on your feet that look like a combination of ski boot and springboard.(Because keeping up with the choreography in aerobics has never been challenging enough.) (At least for the "helmet brigade" portion of the Dilettantes...)

Aside from wobbling around like a newborn fawn when first standing up in these boots, we got used to them pretty quickly and had a great time in this class. You cannot be in anything but a good mood when bounding around like a kangaroo in time to great music. (Which is why school dances in the 80s were so much fun.)

You might think that the instructor (think Stockard Channing with white-blonde hair) would take it easy on a class that was about half full (I'm an optimist!) of people who had never been on these contraptions before. Not the case. We went full tilt for the entire hour. There were many moves that were reminiscent of tap dancing...and also some moves that were pulled right from an MC Hammer video. (Why Madonna has not incorporated this into the choreography for her latest tour we may never know.)

And aside from some blistering and chafing where the boots rubbed our legs, we all felt (but did not smell) great after class. The fact that this is low impact made a big difference.

We followed up class with lunch at The Original Steakhouse in Woodbridge. And then a nap.

June 2009 Activity -- Making Hula Hoops

Thursday, June 18th, 2009
7:15-8:15pm
Dilettante Kathleen's Home, Oakton, VA
www.carlygoss.com
$32.50/person (all supplies and instructor's travel costs included)

We found Carly on a DailyCandy e-mail and thought she taught hula hooping. She actually teaches hula hoop construction. (Talk about re-inventing the wheel.) (I'll be here all post...tip your bartenders well...)

Carly is primarily a weaver who got into making hula hoops on a whim, almost. She is part of the Crafters Mafia in Baltimore along with some other creative types who do all sorts of interesting things like this. (Note to self: Avoid concrete shoe-making class...)

We began our activity by cutting a length of PVC tube. This is purchased in 100-foot quantities, which means that you should be fairly certain that you want to make a bunch of hula hoops (or get really into irrigation) before investing in this.

After cutting our lengths of tube (the bigger the tube, the cooler the dilettante) (taller people cut longer lengths of tube), we each put one end in a pot of boiling water to soften it up, and after doing so, jammed a plastic joiner into one end of it. (“Jammed” seems so indelicate, yet that is exactly what we did.) Then, we poured about a cup of water right into the tube as we softened up the other end in the boiling water and jammed the other end of the tube onto the joiner. And just like that, we were done and all that was left was to decorate the hoop. This sounds amazingly simple…and it was, with the right tools and materials. It was very satisfying (especially for a bunch of women with short attention spans) to be able to create this so quickly.

Carly brought a huge assortment of colored tape with which we could decorate our hoops. Dilettante Amanda went with Denver Broncos orange and blue, Dilettante Amy went with her sorority colors of yellow and red, Dilettante Nicole went with a cool pattern of blue, yellow and magenta and Dilettante Kathleen (with an assist from Dilettante-in-training Avery) chose a rainbow scheme (in honor of Pride Week, of course).

When we finished with our taping, we headed out to the front yard to try out our hoops. It was amazing how much easier it was to hula hoop with a hoop that had water inside – all of us were able to do it almost immediately. Carly was excellent at keeping the hoop going and also tried to teach us all a very cool trick, which we all attempted with varying degrees of success (“varying degrees” meaning that some of us managed to just hit ourselves in the head with the hoop, while others were quite literally swept off their feet). Without question, we are white.

We ended the evening with some pizza, beer and great stories from Dilettante Amy's recent trip to Russia.

(And yes...we do think "hooping" should be an Olympic sport...hence our photo homage to the Olympic rings....)

May 2009 Activity -- Ishi Yama Ryu (Modern Japanese Swordsmanship)

Saturday, May 9, 2009
6:00-8:00pm
The Jhoon Rhee Institute of Tae Kwon Do
1136 West Broad Street
Falls Church, VA
www.ishiyamaryu.com

(Yes, we did fight the urge the entire time we were at Jhoon Rhee to say, "Nobody bodders me." Perhaps not entirely successfully.)

According to the description for this class, Ishi Yama Ryu (IYR) is a modern form of battojutsu and kenjutsu developed by Russell McCartney Sensei. This art form is a unique expression of Japanese style swordsmanship. The fundamental basis of IYR is rooted in Toyama Ryu and Nakamura Ryu, while also drawing from physics, biomechanics, and geometry to create a powerful yet elegant style which emphasizes dynamic movement and stability. The forms and rhythms of IYR are also deeply inspired by nature and sacred geometry.

Got that?

The dilettantes were the four members of this introductory class (they offer two intro classes for free before you must enroll in a course). They should really reconsider this business model, as the instructor (Steve) is great, the class is really interesting, and we all definitely would have paid for it.

Our instructor had a fantastically dry sense of humor and kept saying things like, "You want to make sure you block yourself when someone is coming at you with a sword because if you got stabbed, it would not feel good. Not feel good being the official Japanese term for it." He had been studying this martial art for more than nine years and obviously knew his stuff, yet was able to translate it into kihon (basics) for us to keep us interested.

After we learned to bow while entering the mat, we attempted the eight kata (prearranged form and technique) and then moved on to kumitachi (forms conducted with a partner).

Of course, we felt like total morons going through these movements, so when the instructor asked, "Do you have any questions so far?" I said, "Just one...is that thing on?" (They have a video camera set up on a tripod to record competitions and such. He did assure us that none of the dilettantes would end up on YouTube. Well, for this class, anyway.)

We learned about one defensive move called a slapping parry (which totally sounds like a euphemism for masturbation) and also a Japanese word that translates into "song of the sword" that describes that really cool sound a sword makes when slashing through the air at just the right angle. (Of course, I have totally forgotten the word, and none of us experienced that first-hand, as we were issued wooden "swords" with which to practice.) This was downgraded to foam "swords" and helmets at one point during the lesson because he had obviously read about our Segway experience for safety reasons. This was for the tameshigiri (target cutting), jigeiko (free sparring with RSW sparring weapons), suburi (repetitive swings) and ashi sabaki (footwork) part of the lesson.

The two hour lesson flew by, and we even stayed for ten more minutes to watch Steve and another guy practice duel.

Dinner and drinks followed at (the awesome) Dogwood Tavern in Falls Church.

April 2009 Activity -- Scientology

Wednesday, April 29, 2009
9:00pm
L. Ron Hubbard Church and Museum of Scientology
Dupont Circle
1812 19th Street, Washington, DC

Disclosure: We were totally going into this activity with no knowledge of Scientology. Based on the negative media, we assumed that Scientologists were whack jobs who found religion in the cheesy 70s Sci-Fi writings of L. Ron Hubbard, eschewed advances in modern medicine and bought their way into certain levels of enlightenment.

After spending a couple of hours at the Scientology headquarters, it appeared that we actually had a pretty solid understanding of Scientology. Holy brainwashing, Batman!

Prior to this activity, we made a pact that no one was giving real information to anyone (including any real names). Also, there was no leaving the group for any reason (as we thought they may do the ol' time-share-sales divide-and-conquer routine). (As Dilettante Amanda so gently put it, "I don't care if the bathroom is a one-seater...if one of us has to go...we all go.) With back stories in place (and a couple of bottles of wine at Sette knocked back), your dilettantes "Liz Nickels", "Kathryn Whitmore", "Amber Morrison" and "Julia Meiser" headed over to Scientology Central.

What we did not figure into our (well-laid, borderline genius) plans were:

a) Immediately upon arrival at the Church of Scientology HQ, we were shuttled out the door (by some freaky guy who said, "this is your first time here, right? and I replied, "yes, how did you know?" and through a creepy, plastered-on smile, he said, "I can always tell") to the Church of Scientology Museum (about two blocks away via a network of back alleys) with a Scientologist escort. (Ergo, our location would be unknown to any of our survivors...)

b) Dilettante Kathleen is a total idiot who within three seconds of arriving called both Amanda and Amy by their real names. Oops.

Our escort left us with a different Scientologist who took us on a tour of the three-story row house that was the original Scientology Headquarters. He gave us a lot of background on L. Ron's personal history and then took us upstairs to see L. Ron's office and meeting rooms that were still intact and decorated with some of the original pieces.

We went into one room that displayed all of the volumes that L. Ron had written -- everything from Sci-Fi to art, writing, religion, detox, education, prison reform -- you name it...he was an "expert" in it.

A couple of the more intriguing pamphlet names were:

Ritalin - Kiddie Cocaine
Psychiatry - Industry of Death

We were also fascinated with his Happiness doctrine, which basically just re-wrote the Golden Rule and the Ten Commandments and included such nuggets as, "Don't Murder" and "Take Care of Your Teeth." (I mean, sure, I can buy into both of those tenets, but I'm not sure that I need to read them in a plagiarized Happiness doctrine to incorporate them into everyday life.)

Our tour guide would have stayed for many more hours answering questions (it was close to 11:00pm), but we had to get to our parking garage before it closed. Of course, we all came up with a million additional questions as we were driving home. There really is a lot to ask and a lot we still want to know. Primarily about how we can start our own religion. That is some pretty schweet real estate these people own in Dupont.

Supplemental Activity -- Richard Cheese at the 9:30 Club

Know who I love? The Dilettantes. Know who else I love? Richard Cheese. Know why last night was lounge-tastic? Because The Dilettantes (and their hep cat spouses) went to see Richard Cheese at the 9:30 Club in DC in truly swank-a-rific style.

We met up at the Stucco Mansion (Amanda & Leon's house) in our '50s era garb for some appetizers and cosmos, then headed out in our white limo for some cruising and lounging before the concert. As we drove through the pouring rain, we sipped cocktails and enjoyed the dulcet tones of Dick on CD.
Ozio was our first stop for side cars, Manhattans and bellinis, then it was off to Chi Cha Lounge for a few more drinks and our first collective experience with a hookah. (That's the water pipe with flavored tobacco.) (As opposed to a "hooker," with which we've had many collective experiences...)

By the time we got to the 9:30 Club (where we were carded and where my unlit cigarette was confiscated), there was no more seating available on the floor, so we headed up to the balcony. We had a great view of the stage and then Mr. Cheese worked his way through the audience including the balcony. He made our little group part of the show for a few minutes...he was totally digging our 50s finery.

We cabbed back to the stucco mansion after a long discussion with the cab driver about Eritrea. Just a typical Wednesday night for us, really.

March 2009 Activity -- Mechanical Bull Riding

March 13, 2009
Cadillac Ranch
National Harbor
Oxon Hill, MD

The Dilettantes met up at the Cadillac Ranch at the new National Harbor, bedecked in jeans, boots, massive belt buckles and cowboy hats, pard'ner. We reckoned that the harbor area looked like a ghost town until we went inside and the place was packed. As we waited for Dilettante Amanda (she got a little lost finding the place) we watched a bunch of people ride the mechanical bull (not a euphemism, even though I really, really want it to be). As each person took turns riding, the crowd that had gathered to watch cheered them on and got really into it. We enjoyed a few cocktails as we watched one person after another get tossed onto the ground.

When Amanda arrived, we got a table for dinner. Since we'd had to wait for a table for a while, we decided that we'd eat and then ride the bull. Our table was right next to the bull riding area, so we watched others as we ate until we suddenly noticed that the bull was idle. Apparently, a fuse had blown and the bull was going to be out of commission for at least an hour so it could be repaired.

Our waiter was an interesting chap. He seemed a bit overwhelmed by us and with the waiter gig in general. He didn't know to ask if we wanted additional drinks, and brought the wrong food to the table and just seemed a bit out of his league. At one point, he was reaching behind his back and tugging at something, so Dilettante Kathleen asked, "Do you have a wedgie?" He kind of half-smiled at that and said "no", but also didn't seem particularly embarrassed by the question. He was then known as "Reggie Wedgie" to us.

When the bull started working again, Dilettantes Nicole and Kathleen ran to get in line to ensure they'd have a chance to ride. After waiting for just a few other people ahead of them, Dilettantes Nicole and Kathleen were up. Both did a pretty admirable job of staying on the bull (and not breaking their necks when they finally did let to).

[She's not one to brag, but Dilettante Kathleen had an admirer at the bar. He was apparently bilingual (slur being the second language) and he had quite the silver tongue. He said to her "When you're up there [on the bull], I'll be bouncing all over the place. I'll be all like, wwwwaaaazzzzzuuupppp?" and then he put his arm around her. Good thing she and her husband are solid, because there are temptations...she's only human, you know.]

Dilettantes Amy and Amanda got in line for their turns to ride the bull, and as they were waiting, the bull broke down again. This time, we decided that we could not wait for it to be repaired, as we had already been there for about four hours.

We all did manage to pose on the bull, even though not all of us got to ride it. And really...isn't the photo op what we're in it for anyway?

February 2009 Activity -- Didgeridoo

Saturday, February 7, 2009
11:00am - 1:00pm
Cost: $20 per person
The Soundry
316 Dominion Rd
Vienna, VA 22180
www.soundry.net
703-698-0088

Color us surprised to see 14 people at this didgeridoo (accepted academic spelling: didjeridu) workshop. After all, The Soundry has only been open for a couple of months and let's face it...didgeridoo?

The class description noted that we would "explore this ancient Aboriginal musical instrument with basics of playing, learning about variations of tone and touching on the history and artwork of the didge."

We began the class by selecting a "didge" that "spoke to us" and then learning how to breathe into it to achieve the proper "droning" sound. The instructor told us that we needed to move our lips like a "horse" or like a "motorboat." Dilettante Amanda certainly had the best frame of reference for the motorboat (if you know what I'm saying...)

Our instructor was fantastic at playing and building didges, but not so good at teaching. Fortunately, he had an assistant with him who played equally well and was much better at teaching us the techniques. (Plus, he gets bonus points for being from Scotland and having that killer Scottish accent.) ("Killer"? Jeez. My junior high clique just called and wants their adjective back.) (Okay, fine...I didn't really have a clique in junior high...unless you count the other French club officers as a "clique.") (I'm suddenly sad for my junior high self. A moment, please.)

Playing this instrument is deceptively hard. It took a solid hour in class to achieve even a few seconds of the desired droning tone. (Well, for everyone except Dilettante Nicole, who was a total didge ringer. Seriously...she was all laid back and droning on her didge like she had been doing it forever.)

Most of the time, the didgeridoo is taught with a method called "circular breathing." The instructors touched on this, but told us that it was not necessary to play it for the first time. We played together as a group; played individually and got critiqued; and then practiced our circular breathing by blowing up a balloon and then breathing through our noses.

The two hours went by very quickly -- it was a fun class.

We had lunch after at the Vienna Inn, because really, how else would one follow up didgeridoo?

January 2009 Activity -- Hip Hop Dance

Sunday, January 25th, 2009
4:30-6:00pm
Bethesda, MD
Cost: $20

Hip Hop dance class was off-the-chain. I mean it was dope -- fo-shizzle. (Alright, enough of that. I am pleased to report that the dilettantes were much better at the dancing than at the hip hop lingo. More on that in a moment...)

This class was held at the DC Dance Collective on Wisconsin Avenue (near Tenley Circle). There were 24 people in the class, and it was a great mix of ages, ethnicities and about an equal number of men and women. Our instructor, Gwo, was one of those effortlessly cool guys who had some mad dance skillz (I can't help myself).

Gwo began the class with a bit of a history on the different types of street dance, including breakdancing (breakdancers are called b-boys and b-girls -- now you can drop that into conversation at your next cocktail party) and pop-and-lock (which Dilettante Amanda already knew about being as how she's so "street" from listening to Anne Hathaway talk about this on the Ellen show.) (Interesting aside: Rerun from "What's Happenin'?" was one of the original "lockers".) (Bonus interesting aside: Dilettante Kathleen once served Mr. Run during the summer she waitressed at Red Lobster in Virginia Beach. She remembers him as being gracious and a good tipper, though obviously a horrible judge of restaurants.)

Our instructor referenced "What's Happenin'" and "Flashdance" as pop culture media that showcased some great examples of street dance (though he did this in a way that made them seem like they were ancient history -- like the first 'talkies' or something). He also taught us that the four elements of the hip-hop culture are: a DJ, an MC, graffiti and breakdancing (again, perfect for your next cocktail party).

As I mentioned earlier, the dilettantes actually did pretty well at bringing on da noise, bringing on da funk. We were particularly adept at doing "chest pops" in an intimidating fashion (hip hop is all about the attitude, you know).

By the end of the class, we had learned a routine, which we then did in groups facing each other as a sort of "dance off" where some of us pretended to be robots and some of us pretended to be Sesame Street characters. Or maybe that was the dream I had last night after all the spicy food...

(P.S. The photos below are a mere sampling of the million that we took during our post-class dinner and drinks at the Salvadoran restaurant next door to the dance studio. Too bad the one where Dilettante Amy slurping beer through her grill from a crunk chalice didn't turn out.)

(P.P.S. Dilettante Nicole missed the activity because she was not feeling well BUT SHE IS NOT PREGNANT SO DON'T EVEN THINK THAT FOR A MINUTE, so we'll be presenting her with her grill next month -- and forcing her to wear it while playing the didgeridoo...)

December 2008 Activity -- Ceramics

Saturday, December 13, 2008
10:00am-12:30pm
The Art League
Alexandria, VA
Cost: $40

"Jump Start to Ceramics" was aptly named. The instructor appeared to be a bit over-caffeinated. (We each received four e-mail reminders that we had registered for class, and a voice mail reminder for good measure. Also, she began the class about 10 minutes earlier than the posted start time, and with only a handful of students there).

We know this because Amy told us. She was there when class began. Amanda had to play catch up when she arrived at 9:59. Nicole and Kathleen, on the other hand, stupidly followed MapQuest directions that had not taken all of the new road construction into account. After missing their exit and turning around after getting off at the next possible exit, they sat in traffic for an hour and a half coming back over the Wilson Bridge.

Amy and Amanda were hard at work on their "pinch pots" when Nicole and Kathleen arrived ('round 11ish). Nicole and Kathleen received a Cliffs notes version of the class from an assistant instructor and began creating their pinch pots immediately.

There were about 20 people around the clay tables happily slapping and molding their clay into platters, bowls, wine bricks, small pots, ant hills (it's in the eye of the beholder, Amanda), and ash trays (this was a nod to the clay projects of Kathleen's youth and to her excellent parenting example).

The studio space was very cool -- this was held in an annex for the Torpedo Factory. And the class was really a bargain -- the $40 covered the 2 1/2 hours of studio time and instruction, all materials, and the glazing and firing of as many pieces as we could create during our class time. (Ranged from 1-3 pieces for each of the Dilettantes.) We all selected the glaze color we wanted for each piece and will pick up our projects in 2-3 weeks when they are complete (and likely after several hundred reminder calls). Completed project photos will be posted when we receive those.

The class ended with a tour of the studio space and classrooms. We hear.

The Dilettantes headed to Rustico for lunch, beer and de-briefing. And our (now) traditional December toast to this fantastic club that has been going strong for three full years. We have lots more exciting activities planned for 2009 (as well as a supplemental Dilettante Activity or two -- )

November 2008 Activity -- Bikram Yoga

Thursday, November 20, 2008
Arrive at 5:40pm -- class from 6:00-7:30pm
11495 Sunset Hills Road Suite # 100
Reston, Virginia 20190
www.restonyoga.com
90-minute class -- $20 per person (plus $3 to rent a mat)

From the Reston Yoga web site: Bikram Yoga is a series of 26-postures completed in an order specifically designed to provide optimal health and longevity. Classes are 90 minutes long and are conducted in a room heated to about 105 to 110 degrees Fahrenheit to warm up the whole body,to work the body deep into muscles, tendons and ligaments and change/regenerate the body from the inside out. The class is designed for all levels-first-time students and experienced practitioners alike!

You pretty much need a yoga class after dealing with the traffic and trying to find this studio tucked in the back of an office park. And we also found out that they are sticklers about doors being shut the nano-second that class began. Amy arrived at 6:05 and was locked out of the building. So, she had to turn right around and fight traffic again in the other direction.

The studio itself is really nice and there were a lot of people there who looked like they did Bikram yoga about a hundred times a week. This stuff must work!

I think we all knew we were in a bit of trouble when even the initial breathing exercises were presenting a bit of a challenge. (Who can breathe in that deeply? Especially in a 110 degree room?) However, as we got into the poses and warmed up (heh) we were all doing pretty well. (Well, Nicole was, anyway. I know we weren't supposed to be watching other people, but she was in front of me and she did great.) I could see that Amanda was also able to keep up with most of the poses and stay balanced. Me? Could not really do any bending of or sitting on my knees...so that made several of the poses all but impossible.

The biggest challenge for the Dilettantes was probably the fact that there is no talking allowed in the room for the duration of the class. I don't know that we have ever shown such restraint and rule abiding as we did for these 90 minutes (especially because at one point, the instructor said something about how a pose helped your colon). (Virtual golf clap for the dilettantes.)

One area in which we shined was the Savasana pose (laying on your back and breathing). Another area was literally in shining. We, along with everyone else in the class, were dripping huge beads of sweat within about 15 minutes of the class beginning.

I don't know if we've ever been happier to have an activity end -- Bikram kicked our collective dilettante ass. The end of class was made even sweeter when we received a cold lavendar cloth from the instructor. We could have kissed her.

We decided to forgo the going out after part of Dilettante Club -- you'll see why when you look at the "After" photo above.

Namaste!

October 2008 Activity -- Canvassing for Barack Obama

October 26, 2008
4pm-6:30pm
McLean, VA

Fortunately, your dilettantes are all Obama supporters, or it may have been even tougher to convince them all to participate in this decidedly DC activity. (A couple of them are uncharacteristically shy about even making phone calls -- and that's to people they know. Knocking on doors of strangers was definitely a bit of a leap outside the comfort zone.)

Dilettante Amanda was lucky enough to see Obama at his Leesburg rally on October 22nd, so now that they're BFFs, she was feeling particularly inspired about helping his campaign.

We met at the McLean Obama headquarters office at about 3:30 (although Nicole was there at 2:30, and thought we were playing some kind of cruel joke on her). We weren't, we were just running late. So she got the orientation and learned what we were going to be doing. When the rest of us got there, we went through the brief orientation, at the end of which, some overly excited volunteer put her camera practically up our nostrils to take an individual picture of each of us for posting on some wall somewhere. (We don't know what this was about, but we did feel a bit of sympathy for one of the organizers who looked like he had been dealing with that for some time.)

After the HQ briefing (I've always wanted to say that), we headed to an organizer's house in McLean to pick up our packet with all of the addresses we were to visit and learned how to fill out our paperwork based on the interactions we had.

Finally...we were off. We drove to the neighborhood in which we'd be canvassing and jumped excitedly out of the car (ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha -- that's for the benefit of the one dilettante who was getting physically sick at the prospect of knocking on doors and needed to be pried out of the car with a crowbar). We all did manage to walk up to doors, and we all rotated turns so that everyone had to take the lead a few times each.

And you know what? It was pretty interesting. Most interactions were very pleasant. We spoke to a few people who were voting for the opposing candidates and would not be swayed and they were respectful. We also spoke to many Obama supporters who were very enthusiastic. A couple of these people were eligible to vote early and were not aware, so we definitely provided some great information to those houses. There were also many houses where people were not at home, so we made a note that other canvassers should visit those homes again before election day.

Only a couple of times did we get a bit of a door slam in the face, but it was really more figurative...more of a brush off and a firm closing of the door than an actual slam.

We ended the evening at Stray Cat Cafe over dinner and beers (and hot tea, ahem...) and a discussion about why Barack Obama truly is the Change We Need. Please go to www.barackobama.com for information on his position on issues that are important to you. (And definitely use the tax calculator tool -- it's great.)

September 2008 Activity -- Archery

Thursday, September 25th
Location: The Shooting Gallery, Centreville, VA
Cost: $30.25/person
Duration: 1 1/2 hours

(Cue "Dueling Banjos" here)

The drive to Bull Run Shooting Center was a little creepy thanks to the remote country roads and the eerie rainy weather.

One of your dilettantes recognized the center as a place where she had been skeet shooting in another life (when she worked for the organization that DOES NOT HATE FREEDOM).

The class was a private lesson for the four dilettantes. We met with Jim, our instructor who went over some basics about the parts of the bows and arrows, stance and how to hold the equipment.

When we were trying to determine our dominant eye, the instructor asked if anyone had ever shot a gun before (since you determine eye dominance for that, too). Amanda casually mentioned, "well, I shot an M-16 in Nam." Of course, because she's the Queen of Sarcasm, we all laughed at her obvious joke -- she was barely alive during the Vietnam Conflict...but she protested, "no, really -- when Leon and I were traveling in Vietnam, we shot M-16s". (Nice fun fact, by the way, Amanda.)

Because Amanda and Amy were cross-dominant (their dominant eye did not match their dominant hand) and because they were both wearing black, they shot together. Nicole and Kathleen, whose dominant eyes matched their dominant hands and who were both wearing orange, also shot together. The dilettantes are nothing if not (color) coordinated.

This was so much fun, because all of us were hitting the target our first time shooting. (Of course, the target was 10 yards away). But after we warmed up and the instructor continued to move the targets further down the range, our shooting actually got better. (Rock Star Amy was shooting bullseyes and she was shooting left-handed -- and she's normally right-handed.) Thet black team definitely shot with more accuracy, but the orange team was pretty consistent -- there were many satisfying "whooshes" coming from Nicole's bow as she released the arrows.

We shot about five or six rounds -- three arrows each time. With the exception of about three errant arrows (say that ten times fast), everything hit the target...and most of the arrows were in the colors.

After, we had dinner and drinks at Sweetwater Tavern in Centreville to celebrate our Robin Hood and Eros-like prowess. (And P.S. Yes, we are totally "zany" in our arrow-through-the-head picture above. We are some wild and crazy dilettantes.)

August 2008 Activity -- Palm Reading

Sunday, August 3rd, 2:00pm-3:00pm
Amy's House -- Arlington, Virginia
Cost: $42.50/person for a one-hour class on how to read palms and then a ten-minute session for each person to get her palm read.

We decided to have brunch at the Four P's before the activity, and then went back to Amy's house house to meet the palm reader and learn the art? skill? technique? of palm reading. Her (so-on-target-it's-scary) assessment of each of us is below:

Nicole: Has wispy lines -- a combination of fire and lots of water. She has small hands and is "very steamy." She is someone who will erupt if somebody hurts her feelings or the feelings of someone she loves. Because of the prominent water lines, she adapts well to situations and "chooses her container" to fit into. Can be compared to a little girl who chases a butterfly...her attention can easily move from one thing to another. She is either very punctual or very late -- has time issues. Makes a conscious effort to be on time, save money, etc. Is afraid of being flaky. She is comforted by home and where her stuff is -- not a big adventurer. Her long fingers indicate that she wants to make a connection, her thumbs are rigid -- meaning that she is good at establishing boundaries. She is successful, innovative --an artist -- which is her life's purpose.

Amy: Has fire and earth, well-rounded hands. Lots of energy, she is a human Google with lots of information. She's the "hub of the wheel" and her friends look to her for information -- she is pretty close to a super computer in this regard. She likes a lot of detail; has a good gut instinct; is a good communicator and is good at helping people. Based on a spot that recently appeared on Amy's hand, the palm reader noted, "when you're pregnant, you don't get to be as big and bold in expressing yourself sexually." (This caused all dilettantes to die laughing as Amy's OB-GYN put a moratorium on all sexual activity for the last third of her pregnancy.) She has great, entrepreneur's thumbs that are just flexible enough...indicating that she knows how to set boundaries. She likes to make connections and is creative, but needs to start using her creativity and innovation -- has a need to invent and not follow.

Amanda: Success is her highest-ranking print. (Blah, blah, blah -- she graduated from Wharton...whatever.) She's extremely flexible, easy going...also has prominent water lines and a lot of air. Has long fingers and lightly etched lines. Her feelings are close to the surface and she feels very deeply but she fights feeling this deeply and that hurts. Also has a lot of healing lines. There is lead in her zone of creativity (from a pencil incident in home ec class when she was young, it is still hard to talk about), which may have stifled some of this creativity. Her strongest line is her time-money line. Her life is connected to the ability to communicate and use words, though she is not using this as much as she could. She needs to find a way to bring creativity in (we helpfully suggested she could give her next presentation for her consulting gig through the magical beauty of rhythmic gymnastics). She is good at understanding others' boundaries, but needs to create better boundaries for herself. She also has a strong sense of intuition (but she knew I was going to write that).

Kathleen: Airhands. Strongest prints are the thumb and index finger, which indicate a successful leader. She likes to be around successful people, but may not want to be the ultimate leader -- would be happy to be a VP (hear that, Obama?). She's good at asking questions and would be a good reporter or a good person to teach other people to do things. She establishes boundaries, but is willing to bend. She is tough on herself (indicated by the fact that she insisted on re-taking her picture for this post, because in the first one her arms looked too fat) and is good at making things happen. Her strong line of clairvoyance allows her to sometimes skip the learning curve. She needs to trust herself and recognize that she deserves what she is going to get. She is a gifted healer with the ability to heal others, but is maybe not using that. She is a writer...a blogger who likes to tell her story. She has a strong "philosopher" line and is strong and silent -- needs to "go back to her cave" to rejuvenate after being around people.

July 2008 Activity -- Craft Grab-Bag

July 5, 2008
11:00am-1:00pm
Amy's house -- Arlington, VA

Parameters:
1. Maximum cost $25-30
2. Can be completed in 1-2 hours
3. Does not require any materials other than what comes with the box/kit/etc (e.g., no glue guns) unless you bring these yourself. You CAN supply a frame or pillow if appropriate (I'm assuming all of our crafts will be suitable for framing).
4. Bonus points for holiday (4th of July or otherwise) or religious themed items
5. Extra bonus points if the craft can be completed with a cocktail or beer* in one hand.

We will exchange the crafts when we get to Amy's (through some complicated process like grabbing names out of a hat), so no one will do the craft they brought.

Please note the hilarity of this activity. None of us are "crafters" (and frankly, I cannot even type that word without rolling my eyes). However, due to Amy's "condition" (*she will complete her craft with an O'Doul's in one hand), most physical activities are going to be impossible for the next few months, so we're trying to find things in which all of us can participate.

Anyway...

Craft Grab Bag -- What We Learned:

1) Nicole likes to craft pantsless
2) Amanda will likely be struck by lightning, based on her adding the pipe cleaner/champagne grapes appendage to her marshmallow Jesus, Mary and Joseph craft (not to mention deliberately gluing in the baby Jesus upside-down)
3) Hook rug tools are clearly impossible to figure out. Hand knotting is where it's at. Especially when the crafter has an apparent acid flashback during the knotting.
4) If one Jesus, Mary and Joseph marshmallow Christmas ornament kit is good...12 are fantastic
5) There was no possible way we could live up to the "Schirmer's Kentucky Home" craft

June 2008 Activity -- Evening at the National Press Club (with speaker Helen Thomas)

An Evening with Helen Thomas
June 26, 2008
5:00-7:30pm
The National Press Club
Cost: $45

The invitation read, "Helen Thomas shares her insights about the presidential campaign and stories from her career as a White House Correspondent."

We were so excited to see legend Helen Thomas speak, that we almost excused the ONE HOUR DELAY in this program getting started. However, as the host of the event finally approached the podium, she told us that Helen was in the ICU and could not be there and that Kathleen Matthews would be speaking instead.

Kathleen Matthews is very accomplished, but she is no Helen Thomas. So, it was kind of hard to not be really, really disappointed. Kathleen talked about some of her most memorable experiences as a reporter and anchor in this area, shilled for Marriott numerous times and then got on some tangent about potting and repotting and a big global pot (snicker). Also, we found out that her hubby, Hardball's Chris Matthews, mows their yard himself. (Kind of a physics feat, considering his tremendous melon.) (Why am I so mean?) (Because it's funny.) (Is the reader even needed for this discussion?) (No, not really.)

After the question and answer session, where we learned that Kathleen has a Facebook page, we headed over to Butterfield 9 for dinner and drinks. Our waiter seemed none too pleased that we were ordering small plates. However, once we had bread and a delightful blended arugula amuse bouche, we were all pretty happy we did order small.

Overall, an anti-climatic night...but always fun, thanks to the dilettantes.

May 2008 Activity -- Drum Circle

Drum Circle
Esoterica
Leesburg, VA
Friday, May 9th, 7:00-8:30
Cost: $15
(Option of joining the Open Drum Circle after class from 8:30-10:00 for $5)
http://www.esotericaofleesburg.com/
703-777-4642

Amy found this on Craigslist and it stated that "all percussion instruments are welcome and that extra drums may be available, but only on a first-come first-served basis."

Walking into Esoterica, we were directed past a lot of incense and witchcraft paraphernalia to a loft area above the store via a narrow and rickety staircase. The loft area was dim and there was (what looked and smelled like) pot burning in a dish in the center of a table. We immediately wished we had brought some cool ranch Doritos confirmed that it was NOT pot or anything potentially harmful to pregnant Amy.

There were five or six guys that regularly participate in this Drum Circle and every single one of them was amazingly nice and welcoming. (We did feel a little like we were invading a very intimate gathering. Probably because we were.) These guys told us about the different instruments they played and knew the history of many different types of drums.

We did a lot of meditation exercises while beating on our drums in the very dimly lit room -- including one where we closed our eyes and tried to follow our animal spirit guides. We were happy enough to go along with this until they then wanted everybody to share what they "saw". I mean, at this point do you let them know you were replaying last night's "Biggest Loser" in your head or do you make up something about your spirit guide being a wolf and leading you away from danger? (I believe we went with secret option "C" and claimed it was too personal an experience to share.)

After drumming and meditating and being in the moment for about an hour or so, we had the option to join in a much larger drum circle that anyone can join in on Friday nights at the store. We opted for dinner and drinks at Lightfoot Restaurant instead (our animal spirit guides led us there).

April 2008 Activity -- Facial Yoga

Tuesday, April 29, 2008
7:30-8:30pm
Face-Val-U facial yoga class
Spa at Mandarin Oriental Hotel
1330 Maryland Avenue, SW DC
202-787-6100
http://www.mandarinoriental.com/
Cost: $35 per person

For the second time in Dilettante history, we had a guest dilettante. Amanda's friend from Indonesia (and former member of the Indonesian Parliament -- seriously), Tanti. (Ergo, she will be heretofore known as, "Dilettanti.")

At the Mandarin Oriental Hotel Spa, we were taken into the gym area where we met our instructor, Val. She wasn't big on the warm fuzzies and just jumped right into the class, which was pretty cool. We all sat on Swiss balls facing a mirror for the duration of the class, so that we could watch our posture and our faces as we learned to isolate and work each facial muscle.

Her non-sugar-coated assessment of each of us:

Amanda "Mean Munchkin" Lonsdale: Sounds like she represents the lollipop guild when trying to talk with her tongue in the roof of her mouth (a strengthening exercise). Also, she never smiles and is apparently a total pessimist based on the lengthy "Can't never could" lecture she received after she said that she could not do one of the exercises.

Dilettanti: Has small eyes and bags underneath them. (Which probably has nothing to do with the fact that she's Asian and had recently flown in from Indonesia.)

Kathleen "Crow's Feet" Canedo: Pretty self-explanatory -- although I do prefer "laugh lines" and sue me if I don't worry too much about these and actually kind of like my face advertising that I like to laugh

Nicole "Jowls" Bono: Needs to work on her jawline so that she does not develop flappy jowls down the road. (The dilettante consensus was that Nicole should introduce herself to her new Ashburn neighbors as "Jowls Bono" so they don't mess with her.

Amy "Droopy" Schirmer: Has to open her eyes much bigger and wider so the upper lids don't droop.

We went through many facial exercises that came with theatrics such as pretending we were snooty toots, talking like we were from West Virginia and South Carolina, and rubbing balls on our faces (hee hee -- she said "rubbing balls on our faces.")

She also taught us how to do some everyday things more elegantly. These tips included how to drink properly from a glass and through a straw and how to walk in a more feminine and sexy way (and repeatedly commended Amanda on her superior butt action -- which, combined with her lollipop guild voice probably makes for some interesting encounters for her husband). All of these things help work muscles and improve posture. She mentioned that walking properly would get a lot of construction workers to take notice...funny -- we always thought that a pulse was all that was required.

The hour class stretched into an hour and a half because she was having such a good time. We wrapped up by slapping ourselves silly all over our bodies.

So, some good tips that we can probably implement just by being more aware of them. But also a lot of tips that I cannot see anyone spending a considerable amount of time on...life is just to short and botox is just too available.

March 2008 Activity -- Photo Safari

Amy
Kathleen

March 30, 2008
Photo Safari -- Afternoon Cherry Blossoms at the Tidal Basin
3:00 pm - 5:30 pm
Cost: $54/person
http://www.washingtonphotosafari.com/
This photo safari promised photography instruction during the peak of the cherry blossoms. We were to meet in the late afternoon to take advantage of the late afternoon sun at the FDR Memorial and then to move with the sun behind us along the Tidal Basin toward the Jefferson Memorial.

We met for lunch before the activity -- at Cafe du Parc next to the Willard Hotel. With one preggo, one sickie, and one open-house-haver-that-day, it was a much drier dilettante meal than usual. We made up for it in cheese. Prolly some of the best onion soup, ever. There was a bit of a lengthy discussion about things that should not go in (certain body parts) that was pretty hilarious. We had such a nice, lesiurely lunch (er, dejeuner) that we lost all track of time (er, merde!). So we hailed a cab -- which was all but slowed to a stop for the short drive over to the FDR Memorial -- Cherry Blossoms and Cherry Blossom Traffic were in full bloom. Amanda called the instructor from the cab to let him know we were coming...so we got there about 15 minutes late, only to see that everyone else in our class had schmancy cameras with huge lenses. The four of us with our point-and-shoot numbers felt a little red-faced at first, but our instructor assured us that he could teach us to take better pictures even with those cameras.

The instructor, E. David Luria was funny and cool and had some great tips including:
1. Hold the camera correctly (holding with two hands makes for a steadier camera and a better picture)
2. Get CLOSE! (don't think you need everything in a shot -- focus on what's important and move in)
3. Mind the composition (place the elements of the photograph in a way that makes the photograph interesting.
4. Determine the best angle and time of day for shooting.
5. Keep your verticals as straight as possible.

Ansel Adams Lonsdale took to this activity like (insert funny analogy here). Once our instructor assured her that she was not SOL due to dead batteries (yes, Ansel -- they do sell camera batteries in DC -- a place known to attract a camera-toting tourist or two), she was on fire. She was a bit show-offy, what with her black and whites and sepia tones and all, but the woman can take a picture. Amy cornered the market on the composition aspect of things...pointing to the perfect shot of a kindly gentleman bent over and giving us a full moon. Nicole was great at getting close to her subjects and even got down on the ground for a couple of shots like a true pro.

We all decided that we took away some great advice as to how to take better pictures and we also learned about the features on our cameras and how they could help us do that.

Very worthwhile class with the bonus of getting to see the cherry blossoms in full bloom. The favorite photos that each of us took are shown above and below this posting.

Amanda

February 2008 Activity -- Fencing

Saturday, February 16, 1:00-3:00pm
Cost: $135 for private group lesson for four
Fairfax Fencers Health Club, LLC
4433 Brookfield Corporate Drive, Suite J
Chantilly, Virginia 20151
703-352-2642
http://www.fxfencers.com/

We all met at the Fairfax Fencers Club -- located in an office park in Chantilly. Our instructor (and president of the club), Tom, had decorated the entire club with movie posters, tapestries, swords and a million other fencing-related effects.

Tom provided some history of fencing and the different types of weapons -- sabre, epee and foil -- and passed some of his swords around for us to hold and look at.

Wearing our lames and masks, we took our place on the strip and were introduced to the "en garde" stance, parries 4, 6, 7 and 8, and footwork. We learned to salute, the ballestra, the (running one) advance/retreat, extend, thrust, lunge, recover, and riposte.

We went through some drills. One in particular was quite hilarious -- we had to full at full speed and try to hit a tiny circle with the tips of our foils. We were approximately 0 for 72 with that.

Then, we fenced against each other. Dilettantes Kathleen and Nicole were up first, followed by Amanda and Amy. The videos we took during these duels really helped us study and improve our form will never see the light of day.

January 2008 Activity -- Self-Defense

Self-defense (aka "Rape Escape")
North Brentwood Community Center
Brentwood, MD
http://www.rapeescape.com/
$90/person

Kicking a 260-lb man across the room sure can be exhilarating. And according to our instructor, Kevin, we better all know how to do this, pronto. Our class began with a rehash of the very sobering statistics about attacks on women, causing us to shift uncomfortably in our standard issue elementary school chairs, silently praying for the arrival of Nick, the "bad guy", who was holding up the start of class.

About 10 minutes later, the pleasantries were finished and we got down to the business of learning the techniques that will hopefully save our lives in the case of an attack. The moves were generally pretty simple, although some were a bit counterintuitive. We mused to each other that we weren't 100% sure we would be able to recall (much less execute) them in case of attack. We did learn a couple of valuable things that we will definitely recall:

1. The ground is your friend
2. Create a barrier between you and the attacker
3. Kick like hell

Nicole and Kathleen were the only dilettantes to come out of the class unscathed. Amy managed to pinch a nerve in her back getting up off the mat after disabling the "bad guy", and then break a nail down to the quick while practicing other moves. Amanda is happy to report that she has no symptoms of a MRSA infection, despite sustaining severe scrapes from the velcro on the "bad guy's" suit. Kathleen managed to remain injury free by wearing a completely padded suit (see photo), which was forced upon her by the instructor who must've heard about her previous adventures on a Segway (see June 2006).*

Scrapes aside, the class was probably one of the most valuable experiences the Dilettantes have experienced. We walked away from it a little more freaked out about our chances of being attacked, but confident that we would be able to channel our inner bad-ass if it did. Oh, and we got certificates to prove it.

*Just kidding! Kathleen wasn't able to join the class due to (mental) illness. If you want to mug one of us, it should be her.

December 2007 Activity -- Holiday Baking

Wednesday, December 12, 2007
7:00-10:00pm
L'Academie de Cuisine
5021 Wilson Lane Bethesda, MD
http://www.lacademie.com/
$75

Description on Web site: Class provides on instruction on "holiday gifts to give from your kitchen to their table" -- including peppermint bark, ginger snaps, cranberry caramel sauce and pecan shortbread bars.

Well, because this was a school night, we all decided to meet prior to class for dinner and drinks, rather than going out after. Perhaps not the best idea in hindsight.

Dinner was at Black's in Bethesda. Cool place -- and good food. Amanda and Nicole brought us dilettante Christmas gifts (Amanda a Kiva gift certificate and "D" ornament and Nicole adult MadLibs). Much hilarity ensued -- mostly from us, but also due in large part to our waiter who pronounced the Dogfish Head Raison d'etre beer as "raison day etray". Interesting.

We got to L'Academie a few minutes after the class had officially begun (it was a bit of a hike from Black's) and should have known we were in trouble when every last one of us giggled over a sign outside the instruction room that said, "bring a stool in with you" -- and then one of us erased the "a" so it read simply, "bring stool in with you." (Gentle reader, it is true -- we really are all 8-year old boys.)

Most seats were already taken, so we asked other class participants if they would mind moving so the four of us could sit in the back row together. From there, it all went downhill so fast:

• We found some "hello, my name is" stickers and filled in "poopy pants", "big nuts", and "firm dough" and wore them throughout the class
• We flung some melted white chocolate (accidentally) onto the participant in front of us
• We harassed the tweener assistant so much that at one point, he rolled his eyes and asked, "What middle school is it that you go to?"
• We put on some rubber surgical gloves and proceeded to do untoward things with them
  
• We did manage to avoid taking pictures down each other's shirts (and feeling each other up........Amy), although the same cannot be said for Amanda's butt

All this, and the assistants still felt it was a good idea to offer us all a glass of wine. Perhaps they were looking for the final straw that would allow them to give us das boot guilt-free.
Somewhere in there, we did get instruction on how to make some holiday treats and some of us actually did some baking. We also got to take a plate o' treats home. And then we promptly left -- about an hour earlier than the class ended. Not the best class, then again, we weren't the best students. And somehow, it all seemed an appropriate way to end the second successful year of the Dilettante Club.

November 2007 Activity -- Italian Cooking Class with Chef Roberto Donna

Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Bebo Trattoria
2250-b Crystal Drive
Arlington, VA
http://www.bebotrattoria.com/
6:30-9:00pm
$110 (includes all food and drink throughout the evening)

This is not an unbiased assesesment of this activity, dear reader, as all of your dilettantes are now smitten not only with Roberto Donna's cooking, but also with the Master Chef himself. This is a man who seems to truly love what he does and as with any true expert in his field, makes it all look so effortless.

Arriving at Bebo Trattoria, we were seated at a table in the restaurant with the only other class participant, a delightful woman named Carol. (Normally, there are 14 people per class, but during the holidays attendance is much lower, so we had only 5 in the class -- which was ideal.)

Each seat had an apron and a recipe book next to it. We were also given some sparkling wine and a charcuterie plate to enjoy while we waited, then taken over to the cooking area -- also very close to the dining room.

The instruction part of the class was so much fun. We each had individual burners on which too prepare our food, and cutting boards, knives, and all of the other tools we needed.

October 2007 Activity -- Improv

Monday, October 29, 2007
7:00pm-9:30pm
Felix Lounge, Adams Morgan
Washington, DC
Cost: $30
Instructor: Shawn Westfall
http://www.improvdelivered.com/

Important things first: Amanda was rocking some seriously hot shoes: red patent rounded toe wedges -- but wait, there's more -- they had leopard print heels. What up, fashionista?

Once again, this was a Professionals in the City event, and once again (like our massage class), it was held at Felix in Adams Morgan. (Note: probably the one reason we all agreed to do this was the fact that the bar is open during the class at Felix -- nothing like a little liquid courage to help you try improv for the first time.)

Although we were all pretty apprehensive about this one, this may have been THE BEST activity we've done to date. The instructor was awesome -- he made us all lose all inhibitions within the first few minutes (even without the benefit of roofies...well, as far as we know) and taught us a lot. We did some standard improv exercises like "zip zap zop" and "emotional party" and all had to take turns participating in scenes. We also had to do an exercise where we stood in the middle of a circle of students and sang songs as loud as we could (solo).

We took a refreshing cocktail break about mid-way through the class -- just after a HUGE rat scurried across the floor. (Gotta love DC).

September 2007 Activity -- Wardrobing Tips

Wednesday, September 19, 2007
6:30pm
Nordstrom, Tyson's Corner, VA




After sending in our sizes/coloring/styles/clothing needs to the Nordstrom personal shopper --she promised that she would have rooms full of clothing and accessories that met our needs/styles/lifestyles. Amy called to follow up with her and found out that she was "out sick" on the day of our dilettante activity! Surprising for Nordstrom...but in true customer service fashion, they sent over their top salesperson from the Pentagon City store, who did her best to find us some fashions that met our needs (though not our pocketbooks, we were soon to discover).


She kept giving Amy size large items (all way too big), picked out suits and skirts for me (even though I wear jeans to work) gave Nicole tons of impractical (though GORGEOUS!) stuff and brought Amanda some really matronly items (even though she's young and cool). Aside from that, it was very helpful (snarf!)
The experience itself was all very civilized, though. We had a suite of dressing rooms that opened onto a cental area with a pedestal and mirror. Perfect for showing off the stuff we liked and even more ideal for the ridiculous get-ups. Our personal shopper brought us cookies and water and kept going to the floor to find additional things for us to try on and exchange sizes (for the petite-not-large Amy). It was also a perfect place for Kathleen to begin changing into and out of things right in the center of the room -- and right in front of the doorway that led into the shoe deparment. ("Hi to my salesguy friends in the Nordstrom shoe department who now know what my underpants look like!")

We learned quickly that the third floor of Nordstrom is not a place for bargains...but it is definitely a place for quality and good fit. It was fun to try on a lot of the things we did. And, we each actually came away with some good purchases: Amanda -- a gorgeous tobacco-colored leather coat and brown knit dress; Amy -- a brown skirt with a great pattern that will look amazing with boots; Nicole -- an awesome runway-worthy grey dress and some cool green cords; Kathleen -- a black shirt and very practical leopard coat. And I do think we all got some pretty good ideas about what looked good and what we needed that we can take with us to H&M.

As our credit cards were cooling off, we headed to Gordon Biersch to have some dinner and sample the Oktoberfest keg that they tapped that day. All the waitresses were in dirndls -- nice touch.

Supplemental Activity -- Brew at the Zoo

August 23, 2007
National Zoo, Washington, DC

Okay -- not an official dilettante activity -- more of a supplemental dilettante activity -- with the boys. Well, for at least part of the evening, but not the part where we were all doing the "dilettante dip" down each other's cleavage, prompting the couple ahead of us to sneer and the guy with the messed-up grill behind us to keep screaming, "titties", and the crowd of men behind that to fan out to see what was going on. And not really for the part of the evening where I used the convenient pull cord on my shirt to get more generous pours from the sampling people at the beer tents. And also not really when we took turns taking pictures down each other's shirts...and then deciding as a group that the lighting was off on Nicole's pictures, and then re-taking it and all saying in unison, "ahh...much better."

And come to think of it...not really the part of the evening when Amy mentioned that her dad, Townsel, likes to "freeball" it, or when Amanda lovingly noted that my mom's boyfriend, Jack, is an "Assman".

But they were there with us for the best part -- you know, to drive us home.

August 2007 Activity -- Salsa Dancing

Monday, August 13, 2007
7:00-8:00pm
Clarendon Grill
Arlington, VA
Cost: $5 for beginner class and social dance at 9:00pm
http://www.oohsalsa.com/

Well, who knew that a salsa class in Arlington on a Monday night would be so well-attended? This was pretty cool -- there were about 40-50 people here -- all ages, all ethnicities, all (not "both" -- "all") sexes -- sometimes the DC area is surprising in its lack-of-stodginess.

The instructor was enthusiastic, if not a little bit corny. Whatever...he taught us to salsa. We all mastered the few basic steps that he taught us and were actually doing what resembled a dance in time to music within about 45 minutes, taking our leave only when it became apparent that there might be some partnering up with guys. (And thus prompting the dilettantes to state their credo of "not touching anyone they don't know.")

We ducked out to the Eleventh Street Lounge next door for dinner and drinks. Amy insisted that we all order a fancy cocktail to begin...even though we're normally a beer/wine crowd. A sidecar, lime rickey, pineapple-tini and raspberry beret later, we were hitting our stride. This was followed by a few rounds of beers and about a million stories and laughs.

July 2007 Activity -- Massage Techniques

Tuesday, July 17, 2007
7:30pm-9:30pm EST
Felix Lounge
2406 18th Street NW
Washington DC 20009
Cost: $25

Not since the pole dancing class in April 2006 have the Dilettante spouses been so excited about an activity.

We were somewhat hesitant to schedule this class as it was being brought to us by Professionals in the City, who you might know from their earlier work in "suck-ass hypnosis class." Alas, scheduling a monthly activity for four women is almost a dilettante activity in itself these days, so a Professionals in the City class it was!

The class was held at the Felix Lounge in Adams Morgan -- so, plenty of time for beer before the class began. Hooray! (Though, we were not instilled with confidence when the bartender told Amanda that sometimes the instructors for Pros in the City classes don't show up. Fortunately, this one did.)

"Introduction to Partner Massage" was led by Joesph Reo, licensed massage therapist and massage therapy instructor.

He had all of us introduce ourselves and talk about our experience with massages -- whether we had them often, for relaxation or injuries, and if we'd had good or bad experiences with them. Then, he came up with all the following sound bites:

"I have the table, the sheets and the cream"

"When I'm giving a massage, I take a moment to check in with myself -- to be present not just with Ken (participant), but also with Ken's shoulders"

"Once I put my hands on somebody, I tend to not like taking them off"

"Sometimes people want a poky massage"

"When I teach this class in the winter, there are too many clothes...skin is so much better"

"Apparently, she's one of the fingernail ones" (said about Nicole)

"You can use the cream or not, some people don't like to get all gooed up"

Instruction sheet had commands such as:
"Now change places" and "Now switch roles again" -- sheesh! You'd think we were at a swingers' club (yes -- it took me almost 19 months to work "swinging" into this blog -- talk about restraint!)

If there was ever a question about just how juvenile your dilettantes are -- that question was answered repeatedly during this activity. To wit:

a) During his discussion, Joseph mentioned that sometimes people get very relaxed and sometimes fall asleep during massages, which can be jarring when you wake up and realize it's over. To which we added, "yes, and you realize your kidneys are gone and it hurts in the no-no place."

b) One dilettante noted with hilarity that every time she moved on the vinyl couch, it sounded like she was passing wind, so she proceeded to do it about 15 times while saying "couch" every time just to make sure that no one thought that she was, indeed, REALLY passing wind.

c) All dilettantes coming up with the same third-grade joke about "what's this?" "a brain sucker" "what's it doing?" "starving" when we were demonstrating scalp massage on our partners.

Fun event. The instructor was very laid-back and didn't seem to mind when we went to get beers during class. Only slightly uncomfortable part of the evening was getting hit on (as a group) by two different guys at the end of the class. Even after mentioning that we were married during the introductions. Perhaps this was a swingers' massage class. (I broke the seal...two swinger references in one posting...I can't help myself.)

June 2007 Activity -- Hand Dancing

Monday, June 11, 2007
Lincoln Theatre
U Street, Washington, DC
6:30 or 8:30pm
$10
http://www.handdance.org/

Hand dancing sucks. That’s a baseless comment, because we know nothing of hand dancing. We all arrived at the Lincoln Theatre on U Street in DC only to find out that some kind of schmancy graduation ceremony was going on. Thusly, the hand dancing class was apparently cancelled for the evening – a fact not shared with the hand dancing web site…or on the voice mail of the woman I called whose phone number was listed on the hand dancing web site. Oh, hand dancing…why dost thou forsake us?

So, what do three women (Amy crapped out – apparently the memo about dilettante activities being optional only went out to Amy and Nicole) do with a suddenly-open hand dancing slot? Go shopping, of course! Have you seen the cute boutiques on U Street? Sadly, many of them close by 7pm. Happily, Pop stays open until 8pm --giving us plenty of time to try on almost every garment in the store. Kathleen and Nicole proceeded to make this the most expensive dilettante activity on record in a span of about an hour.

After learning how to shop efficiently, we learned how to eat and drink on the roof top deck of Local 16. And we learned that the server should be forced to set down the Chimay and back away slowly – he was that remedial in the pouring department. Food was pretty good/drinks were great, but orders for them were taken too slowly. However, it was a perfect night weather-wise and we were seated next to a smart ass. So it ended up being a pretty great night.

May 2007 Activity -- Phyllo Dough Cooking Class

Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Whole Foods Market
Tenleytown, Washington, DC
7:00-8:15pm
Free

For the first time since the Dilettante Club began, we were down a member for the evening's activity. Nicole was sick and (sadly) could not make it.

The cooking demonstration at Whole Foods was very informational -- even those among us who don't own microplanes to grate nutmeg found a few useful tips on the 3-item menu that was presented (spanikopita, tahini salad and grilled pineapple). Plus, the woman who taught the course was cooking-show watchable. Not only did she know her stuff and give good tips and make it all seem easy...she was lovely and made it all very interesting. And at the end, we got to sample everything on the menu.

Whole Foods provided recipe cards, note pads, re-usuable shopping bags and bottled water for this class -- nice touch.

Evening ended at Guapo's for some Mexican food. Because we missed Nicole, we drew an extremely life-like rendering of her to pose as a stand-in. Our adorable Columbian waiter was fun enough to ask if she wanted to order anything.

April 2007 Activity -- Decorating

April 22, 2007
10:30 - 11:30 am
Pottery Barn
Tyson's Corner Galleria
International Drive, McLean, VA 22102
(703) 821-8504
Cost: Free

Our decorating class began with a short presentation by the Benjamin Moore rep, who explained a bunch of decorative painting techniques for outdoor spaces (they have a partnership with Pottery Barn and are featured in all of the stores and catalog tableaus). That was informative and timely, as we are finally seeing some nice, warm weather here in the DC area and are all starting to think about our decks and patios.

The next part of the workshop entailed the Pottery Barn employee walking us around the store to point out all of their new merchandise. She didn't really provide too many decorating tips...it was more about how we could buy things from the store and put them together to create -- WOW! -- exactly the same thing that was available in the store displays. She also mentioned that every season, she completely rotates her furnishings and home decor -- puts away velvet pillow covers and replaces them with linen ones, rolls up wool rugs and replaces them with sisals...replaces photos in frames with family photos taken on the beach, etc. Great idea -- but seriously -- who has the time/energy/storage space for that?

In true dilettante fashion, as soon as we stood to move to another section of the store, Amy wandered off when some bedding caught her eye.

Shortly after, Amanda was staging a photo op from the "red clambake table setting" that involved a "big mr. vomit" and a "lil mr. vomit" bucket. As I was about to snap the picture, I was scolded by a Pottery Barn fembot who told me that it was corporate policy that no photos be allowed in the store. The store is set up to look exactly like the catalog, which looks exactly like the web site, which is available to like, the entire universe. I doubt anyone would be finding Pottery Barn corporate secrets from the staged photo taken by my disposable camera.

The outing ended with brunch at Cafe Deluxe across the street. Highlights: Amanda being surrounded by an assortment of crazies, my husband going to New Orleans and getting a rash down there (but not "down there"),

Supplemental Activity -- Dilettante Prom

This started as an idea to celebrate a couple of milestone birthdays this year and quickly grew into Dilettante Prom 2007 -- complete with a theme, colors, costuming and a "killer" agenda:

Date: March 24, 2007
Theme: Forever Young (but of course)
Prom colors: Turquoise and hot pink
Prom Night Agenda:
-Girls get ready at Dilettante Amy's house
-Boys meet us and we take a limo ride around DC for two hours
-Limo drops us at Applebee's in Falls Church
-From dinner, we walk to the State Theatre and see The Legwarmers

During our limo ride (with Lonnie the limo driver) in the District, we stopped at The Tombs (where a bunch of Georgetown students were all over us) and an Irish bar (where Dilettante Amanda got to meet one of Leon's friends from the grand jury for the first time -- while dressed like a punk rocker). We also stopped for photo ops at the fountain in Dupont Circle where a passerby said, "I metaphorically hug each and every one of you." Dan, who was dressed like an 80s hair band member was accosted by a group of Japanese tourists who wanted their pictures with him.

From there, we headed to Applebee's. Either we'd had a few too many cocktails or the food at Applebee's has improved since we last ate there in 1990, because we all found it delcious. (And Dilettante Kathleen cracked herself up all night long by asking the Applebee's waiter how the chef recommended the steak be cooked.)

At the Legwarmers concert, we danced and sang and drank some kind of cocktail they were featuring that had a dirty name. And I took a picture with a guy who had a mohawk. (Awww....just like my own senior prom.)

March 2007 Activity -- Hypnosis

We been hyp-mo-tized!

Thursday, March 15, 2007
7:00-9:00pm
Johns Hopkins University
Washington Center
Washington, DC
Cost: $25

Amazingly, this was our first Professionals in the City event.

February 2007 Activity -- Curling

Potomac Curling Club

The Ice Garden
Laurel, MD
http://www.curldc.org/
Thursday, February 15, 2007
6:15-7:15pm

Cost: FREE

Be honest. If you're like the Dilettantes, there was probably some curling mockery somewhere in your past. You watched it during the Olympics and thought, "Really? You push a stone down the ice and then sweep? And that's an Olympic SPORT?"

Well, we had a bit of a change of heart after being instructed to strap teflon pads to our feet and trying to stay upright while pushing a huge granite stone down the rink.

Our instructor, F.L., taught us some curling terminology such as:

burn the rock

the hog line

January 2007 Activity -- Cake Decorating

Cake Decorating
Sur La Table
Pentagon Row, Arlington, VA
Saturday, January 27, 2007
3:00pm-5:00pm
Cost: $75 (no, that's not a typo)

What we thought would be an opportunity to exercise our creativity, create a lovely cake to take home, and most importantly, get a set of decorating tips turned into more of a over-priced death march through :

• hygiene tips (don't eat the icing or it will be contaminated!),
• obsessive compulsive disorder (don't get your knife contaminated with crumbs!),
• a fraction lesson (if you want 1 cup of icing, use 1 T water, 2 cups would be 2T, 3 cups would be 3T, repeat ad nauseam) and,
• passive aggressive behavior ("Oh, I see you decided to start decorating your cake already!).

And for $75, we didn't even get a set of tips! Instead, we got a gift certificate good for 15% off at Sur La Table for that day ONLY and a recipe for icing (because that's the hardest part - stirring sugar and water together).

Never fear - the dilettantes still managed to have fun - mostly by breaking all the rules! Amanda quickly put herself in food coma by eating all of her mistakes. Kathleen made a 3-foot high cake using the "if you make a mistake, cover it up with more icing" technique. This prompted a snide comment from our fastidious instructor: "Well, I suppose if you put 3 feet of icing on it, any cake will look good!" Hmph.

Amy had a tough time deciding what to put on her cake, scrapping the marine theme in favor of a shooting star, while Nicole made a very delicate cake with hearts on it (even if she used the softer green icing for her rosettes - apparently a big no-no). Kathleen ended up covering nearly every inch of her cake, while Amanda took the minimalist (some might say lazy) approach and quit after completing her hippy-dippy flower.

We took ourselves, our cakes, and our lighter wallets to the Irish Pub afterward to debrief and toast Kathleen's birthday!

Overall - the activity was fun, but way overpriced for what it was. Had we walked away with some decorating equipment and tips we couldn't have read in any Wilton book on cake decorating, it would have been better.

December 2006 Activity -- Champagne Tasting

Sunday, December 17, 2006

7:00-8:30pm

Best Cellars Clarendon

Arlington, VA

Cost: $22

What a fitting way to end the dilettante year -- a champagne tasting that combines our loves of dilettante activities and boozin' it up.

We began the evening with tapas at Las Tasca in Clarendon. We reminisced about the year as dilettantes, talked about what activities we could plan in 2007 and generally just discussed why we are so much fun. Amanda then presented each of us with a fabulous dilettante gift -- Dilettante brand chocolates, a silver "D" ornament and customized postage stamps with a picture of one of our dilettante activities. Of course, her packages were wrapped beautifully and the bows had tons of "oomphy poomphy."

After dinner, we walked up the street to Best Cellars for the sparkling wine tasting. We immediately noticed some scha-weet looking gift bags on the counter and assumed they would be ours at the end of the evening. This was looking promising. When the tasting started and we saw that there would be a total of seven samples from many different price ranges, it also looked promising. Then, we received our glasses and our first (very generous) sample and knew we'd made a nice choice on this activity. In addition to very generous samples, there was cheese, crackers and olives to munch on and pitchers of water available to cleanse palates.

Because wine descriptions are hilarious, we selected some of our favorites from the sheet that was provided. To wit:

• gossamer soft and a whisper on the riotous side of sweet
• a superb gift for anyone who appreciates pink-pleasure in their mouth (go ahead...insert your own husband's name here, as we all did)
• boasts a rare level of refinement and powerful finesse
• want to garner red carpet-worthy attention at your next party? pop the top of this fun, flirtatious fizzy and we guarantee you'll be the center of attention (ridiculous, right? guess which bottle every last dilettante bought? This one, a Fox Creek Vixen Sparkling Shiraz)
• a darker note of ripe red fruit bringing up the rear

The woman providing the commentary for the tasting knew her stuff and had lots of good information. We tasted some really interesting sparkling wines...including one that went well with "small nuts and salty things" (sheesh...they make this so easy for us).

The only downside of the evening occurred when Amanda sneezed and a woman next to her moved about four feet away from her as though she were Typhoid Mandy. Amanda was all like, "oh no she di-int" and we were all like, "oh yes she did" and then we decided that we'd be mature and just lick her gift bag before handing it to her.

Gift bags included mulling spices, a big jar of raspberry caramel sauce, chocolates, wine biscuits and a coupon for $5 off a purchase at that Best Cellars, which each of us used for the Vixen wine.

And so a bunch of happy dilettantes went on their way.

November 2006 Activity -- Wreath Making

Saturday, November 18th, 11:00am-12:00noon
Arlington Westin Gateway Hotel
Arlington, VA
http://www.jlnv.org/

This wreath making workshop was part of the Junior League of Northern Virginia Enchanted Forest Fundraiser.

Now, two of your dilettantes were members of the Junior League of Northern Virginia for a short amount of time (of course, we're dilettantes!) and found the grown-up sorority aspect of it all a little much, replete with passwords to enter meetings (who knew they were such sticklers?), refreshment committees, and the members continually buying more of the raffle/fundraiser tickets themselves than selling them to other people. Combine that with paying dues to have friends and we both decided we'd been there/done that in college and this time we didn't have the benefit of formals or keggers to make it palatable. (Let's just say we were not Sigma Psyched.)

But I digress, the most frustrating thing about the Junior League is HOW HARD IT IS TO SIGN UP TO PARTICIPATE IN THE EVENTS THEY SPONSOR. Jesus Christ! It's a good thing we REALLY wanted to do this (okay, we kind of wanted to do it and it worked with all of our schedules). That motivated me to work through finding out what the dates were for this event (saw no advertising), getting half-information on the JLNV web site (do we get to keep the wreaths we make? that's not the case with the gingerbread houses...so we didn't know), e-mailing three or four different officers and then leaving an (unreturned) voice mail. Finally, I received a registration form that I was to complete and FAX back...no on-line registration. Oy vey! (Kindly note my uber-inclusive usage of both Christian and Jewish imprecations.)

Anyway, we got to the Westin that day to participate, parked the car ($15 valet parking) and went into the hotel. The wreath-making workshop had about 40 people in it, all separated into round tables of about six people each. A charming woman named Lourdes was the workshop instructor. She could make a bow like nobody's business and spent about 45 minutes of the 60 minute workshop lovingly crafting bows while explaining to us how to do it. That was all great, but after the "grab your supplies" free-for-all and getting back to our tables so we could fluff our wreaths (yes, we were fluffers...imagine if this post had focused on that aspect...you'd be so much more interested right now, dear reader), we had about 15 minutes to complete our wreaths and get the heck out of that room.

This was no problem for Amy "Bow Showoff" Schirmer, who had a gorgeous bow completed in about a nano-second, or for Amanda "Double Ribbon Bow Extraordinaire" Lonsdale, but Nicole and I were a little slower on the uptake. Lourdes offered to go around to the tables and help those who were a little less crafty to get their bows completed, but also liked to stop and admire those bows that were already done. With about five minutes left, I, Kathleen "Crankypants" Canedo, got a little hostile with sweet Lourdes, snapping at her about three times as she stood across the table from me adding "movement" to Amanda's bow, while Nicole and I still didn't even have the beginnings of one. Finally, she made my bow for me, and then made Nicole's for her. We each added a few sprigs of gold berries and some gold ornaments and Voila! homemade wreaths!

The dilettante day ended with lunch (and beers) at nearby Rock Bottom Brewery. Nothing like the sweet, golden nectar to melt away a case of the crankypants.

Dilettantes make the Washington Post

The Dilettante Club gets some press:

Party Animal
Dirty Dirndls: Oktoberfest by Way of Oakton
By Christina Ianzito
Sunday, October 29, 2006; Page W11

Kathleen Canedo, 39, and Amy Schirmer, 35, can't really explain the roots of their annual Oktoberfest celebration. They just wanted to throw a themed party and somewhat randomly settled on Oktoberfest, a Bavarian festival that revolves around beer. "There's no real connection for us," says Kathleen, a 39-year-old freelance writer, "other than we like to drink beer, eat German food and say 'wiener' a lot."

Amy Schirmer, Kathleen Canedo, Amanda Lonsdale and Nicole Bono sport dirndls. (Nicholas Roberts - Nicholas Roberts For The Washington Post)

Tonight, for their fifth Oktoberfest, they've set up semi-authentic-looking striped tents next to the pool in Kathleen and Tim Canedo's back yard in Oakton. Long tables are decorated with blue-and-white Bavarian flags and little plastic "windup hopping lederhosen," which were purchased, along with packages of sticky false mustaches, on Stupid.com. Invitations included the "Top 10 Oktoberfest Pickup Lines." No. 7: "What do you say we explore each other's hinterlands?"

The party gives Kathleen and Amy an excuse to sashay around in St. Pauli Girl-esque dresses, called dirndls. "We both love dressing up," says Kathleen,who is wearing a demure blue number tied with a purple apron. She bought it a few years ago on eBay, choosing not to go the "dirty dirndl" route, she says, pointing to her friend Nicole Bono, 27, who is wearing a short, poofy, leg-baring version and two ponytails tied with red ribbons.

"Nicole's our youngest friend who can still get away with that," sighs Kathleen, though her mother, Karen Steenberg, arrives in a low-cut, bright-red dirty dirndl that she happily admits is "inappropriate."

About 40 family members, friends and friends of friends drink from a keg of Spaten beer and eat a spread from German Gourmet in Falls Church: bratwurst, knackwurst, potato salad, two kinds of sauerkraut and hot pretzels. German oompah-pah music drifts from a CD player. Some of the male guests sport real lederhosen, also courtesy of eBay, and a few others -- including Tim -- wear T-shirts or aprons printed with a picture of lederhosen. Close enough.

Nobody's taking this too seriously, especially the hostesses, who are part of what they call the Dilettante Club, with Nicole and another friend, Amanda Lonsdale, 32. The four women started it, says Amy, when they realized "none of us has real hobbies because we have such short attention spans." So every month, they briefly learn a new "skill" -- pole dancing, belly dancing, rock climbing -- then go drinking.

This may help explain tonight's lebkuchen, which are large gingerbread-y cookies often served at Oktoberfests, traditionally printed with sweet sayings such as "Be Mine" or "I Like You."
"We do 'The Aristocrats' version of that," warns Kathleen, referring to the 2005 movie that revolves around the retelling of a dirty joke. The lebkuchen baked and handed out by the German-speaking Amanda are large and heart-shaped, with German phrases written in blue frosting. Many cookies include the word "wiener" and plenty of extraneous umlauts, and all are probably unprintable but one. It says: "Underpants."

Toward the end of the evening, the party thins out, but a core group remains in the (pseudo) German spirit. A few friends bring out Kathleen's karaoke machine, and Amanda, still wearing her Swiss Miss braids, starts in on Pat Benatar's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot." Then Amanda and her husband, Leon Morse, take an impromptu dip in the pool, followed by Karen, who dives in -- dirty dirndl and all.

October 2006 Activity -- Ghost Tour

Sunday, October 29, 2006
6:30-7:30pm
http://www.alexcolonialtours.com/

1. Is this an activity where someone would feel comfortable going alone or is it better to go with a partner?
2. Was it convenient to participate in this activity?
3. Was the activity a good value based on the registration fee? Tour was just $10. It was a one-hour walking tour, the evening was a perfect fall evening
4. What were the participant demographics?
5. Logistics
6. What should one wear/bring to the activity for maximum enjoyment?
7. Level of physical fitness required (if applicable) -
8. Should participants be there early to get a good seat? Meet people? Get set up?
9. Size group that could be accommodated (if you wanted to organize a group outing).

We ended the evening at Bilbo Baggins in Old Town. Wow! What a great beer menu. And, the food was fantastic.

September 2006 Activity -- Belly Dancing

Saturday, September 9, 2006
5:30-6:30pm
Sahara Dance
4631 Wisconsin Avenue
Washington, DC
http://www.saharadance.com/

I must admit, we were somewhat skeptical going into an activity where the instructor had written an e-mail to us prior to class with a signature of "Happy Shimmies." However, the "Happy Shimmies" woman proved to be probably the best instructor we've come across in this whole dilettante world we've created. Of course, she had an amazing belly-dancer body, and this, combined with full-length mirrors around the perimeter of the room, made us that more anxious to follow up this activity with a lot of margaritas.

But I digress...she was really helpful and didn't make us feel like dorks with no rhythm. She broke down all the movements and explained them in a way that was easy to understand and made sense. And, she made it all really fun. Plus -- we got to wear scarves around our waists that had those jangling coins on them! Seriously...other than a tiara and a feather boa...what could be better? (I think I just described a drag queen's start-up kit.)

Best of all, the class lasted just an hour. Long enough for us to realize that belly dancing is a workout and not as easy as it looks, and long enough to be able to put moves together into something that resembled a belly dance. Just about the perfect dilettante activity.

The evening ended with a couple of pitchers of margaritas and some Mexican Food at a place around the corner.

August 2006 Activity -- Sushi Making

Obi Sushi
1771 Library Street, Reston, VA 20190 703.766.SUSHI (7874)
http://www.obisushi.com/
As this activity was located in suburban Reston, Virginia, we forced Amanda out of her urban comfort zone into the Stepford Fabulousness of Reston Town Center.
There were maybe 12 or 14 people signed up for this class...we were all seated at two long tables that faced each other, with the instructor's table situated at the head of the room where we could see him demonstrate.

July 2006 Activity -- Segway Tour of DC

Segway Tour of Washington, DC
www.citysegwaytours.com
July 2006
Cost: $65/person for 3 hour tour (plus a possible additional $500 if American Express was not the best credit card company on the face of the earth)

It was a dark and stormy night...

We headed into DC to meet Dilettante Amanda at the Segway place. Due to the weather and traffic, we were running a few minutes late, so Amy and Nicole dropped me off so that I could register us while they found parking. As I was making my way up the five steps to the Segway place, I tripped and fell up the stairs and stubbed my toe. (Cue dramatic music indicating foreshadowing here.)

Our tour guide, Steve, was a young guy with a great attitude and we liked him immediately. What we did not like was that we had to wear helmets and bright blue rain coats like the rest of the dork patrol on this tour. (As fun as Segways can be, there is no possible way to look cool while riding one.)

This three-hour tour started off a little rocky when an elderly gentleman in our group ran into a stopped car at an intersection. We may have rolled our eyes a little bit when this happenend (refrain: dramatic foreshadowing music). From there, we rolled down the streets of DC, stopping occasionally to look at monuments and get a bit of a guided history tour. We also stopped occasionally because I kept falling off my Segway. I fell a total of *three* times. To break it down for you, I've assigned a special rating system that details our tour guide's reaction and the amount of pain I was in.

Fall #1: Tour guide Steve's expression: concerned
Pain Quotient: 1 on a scale of 1 to 5

Fall #2: Tour guide Steve's expression: exasperated/incredulous
Pain Quotient: 4 on a scale of 1 to 5 (I scraped my elbow and bruised my coccyx)

Fall #3: Tour guide Steve's expression: Don't know...he refused to look at me
Pain Quotient: 4 on a scale of 1 to 5 (the Segway kept ramming into my shin)
Damage Quotient: 4 on a scale of 1 to 5 (the Segway handlebar broke completely off and Tour Guide Steve had to drive my Segway back to HQ)

Between falls 2 and 3, we were stopped in front of the White House, where Dilettante Amy seemingly became possessed. She began turning 360s in a tight circle with a maniacal look on her face all while making beeping noises. This sent all of the other dilettantes into fits of hysterics.

Also between falls 2 and 3 (and after I had tried to convince Tour Guide Steve that my Segway was defective, we overheard a smug/nerdy -- "smerdy"? -- member of our group saying sarcastically, "Oh, I'm sure it was a defective SEDGE-way." From that point forward, we could no longer call it a SEG-way. It was (and still is) a SEDGE-way).

After we had locked up the Segways to take a walking tour of the last of the monuments, we went back to the Segways and Steve asked us if we remembered which Segways were ours. Amy deadpanned, "well, we know which one is Kathleen's" (pointing to the one sans a handlebar).

Back at HQ (God, I love saying that), the four of us sat on a bench like so many juvenile delinquents waiting for their parents to pick them up after drinking too much Milwaukee's Best and cruising around in a Chevette (at least that's what we imagine it would feel like...obviously none of us has a frame of reference for such a thing.)

I was forced to fill out a damage report saying that I would pay $500 to cover the repair of the Segway ("forced" because they had my credit card number on the reservation...there was nothing I could do at the time).

Over time, my coccyx healed, AmEx disputed (and won!) the charges, and the other Dilettantes have never again mentioned my utter lack of coordination. (Had you going there for a minute, didn't I?)

Necessary beers and food followed at the Old Ebbitt Grill (thank God for cushioned seats.)

June 2006 Activity -- Cancelled!

Due to many unforseen circumstances (e.g. the trapeze place in McLean went out of business, ear infections, graduation parties, rain delays, travel schedules, etc.) the June activity was cancelled.

May 2006 Activity -- Rock Wall Climbing

We showed up at the Sportrock facility (housed in an industrial park) and checked in. You have to sign a detailed waiver saying that when the equipment fails and you plummet to your death, it is not their fault. You also have to sign something saying that you have forfeited the right to a helmet. None of us signed this, and were then given some kind of weird explanation about how we needed to sign it -- so we did, and also got helmets. (huh?)
Our instructor (self-nicknamed G.I. Joe according to him nametag), (nicknamed Captain Sideburns by us), got us our shoes and helmets and directed us to a lounge to wait for class to begin.
Our group decided to pick some fun nicknames for ourselves -- Nicole was "Lara Croft", Amanda was "Billy" (as in billy goat) and Amy went with "Spiderwoman." Being the creative marketing type, I went with "Kathleen" (as in "Kathleen").
We quickly discovered that you apparently cannot just go to class and learn how to climb a wall. You have to go through a 2-hour session on "belaying" -- which is essentially learning how to tie knots and be the anchor person for the person who is climbing the wall. Ironically, after 2-hours of learning to tie knots and not doing anything active...we ALL were climbing the wall. (Jokes about "being at the end of our ropes" also fit in nicely here.)
Captain Sideburns claimed up front that he was "sarcastic." This should always serve as a warning. Anyone who describes themselves as anything is generally the polar opposite of what they claim to be. (Especially those who describe themselves as "classy" or "zany" or "not currently in the midst of a herpes flare-up.") Turns out C.S. was actually an instructor who talked quickly, had little patience, was very intense and used a method of negative reinforcement coaching.
Anyway, we went through the Figure 8 knot, the backup overhand knot and all of the safety checks about a trillion times. C.S. kept stressing, "Safety, safety, safety", yet, curiously, when it was Amanda's turn to climb and she asked for chalk because her hands were slipping, he told her that "climbers usually have chalk on their hands, but you guys don't need to use it". (again, huh?)
I think it was at this point that I asked if we could take pictures. When he said, "yes", I said, "I'm glad...I was a little worried that you'd say no and you kinda scare me because you're a little intense.". Well, he was apparently also a little sensitive, as he must have repeated that I thought he was "intense" many, many times thereafter.
Anyway, when we finally did get to the climbing portion of this activity, I think we all felt that there had been significant instruction in belaying, and very limited instruction in the actual climbing. That, coupled with the fact that other amateurs were the belayers, did not instill us with a great sense of confidence while scaling a huge wall. We all pretty much went up about 7 or 8 feet -- although Nicole kicked ass and went up more than 10 (and was only stopped by not being able to find another grip once she got up there -- she was not scared at all!)
The activity ended, as they all do, with some drinking. This time at the Lost Dog Cafe in Arlington. As it turns out, drinking is the only activity that we've maintained a consistent level of interest and skill in throughout this process.

Activity: Rock Wall Climbing
Date/Time/Location: Wednesday, May 3rd, 7:00-9:00pm, SportRock, Alexandria VA
http://www.sportrock.com/

April 2006 Activity -- Pole Dancing, yes...Pole Dancing

Activity: Pole Dancing
Date/Time/Location: Sunday, April 9th
http://www.mdpoledancing.com/

I have a whole new respect for strippers. And I had a pretty healthy respect for them to begin with. This pole dancing thing is not easy. As my mom used to say, "if it was easy, everyone would do it." Although, I don't think she was referring to pole dancing at the time.
Our instructor was a gorgeous woman named "Ki". We all admitted later that we spent an inordinate amount of time staring at her butt -- and we're all straight. The woman had a body that would not quit and she was a great dancer.

We warmed up with a little hula hooping. Amanda "Hips" Lonsdale and Nicole "Swivel" Bono showed their stuff, both claiming to have never done this before. Whatever...Amy and I couldn't really get the hang of it, even though my mother won the "best hula hooper in the world" contest back in high school. (Don't be too impressed -- the world was a lot smaller then.)
After that, we practiced our "walk" around the pole. This involved a lot of strutting and a lot of rhythm.
We learned different ways to move down the pole, including the "fireman", the "fairy", and some other moves. This required all kinds of arm strength, rhythm and learning to time how to snatch the ones out of our garter belts while keeping in step with the music. (Kidding. Mostly.)
This was definitely the hardest workout I've had while wearing high heels (that I'd share in a blog, anyway.)

March 2006 Activity -- Strong Beer Tasting & Lecture

Activity: Strong Beer Tasting & Seminar

Date/Time/Location: Saturday, March 11th, 6:30-11:30pm, Northwest Washington, DC

February 2006 Activity -- Making Handmade Chocolates

Activity: Making Handmade Chocolates
Date/Time/Location: Sunday, February 5th, 12:00-2:30pm, Northwest Washington, DC
http://www.tastedc.com/

1. Is this an activity where someone would feel comfortable going alone or is it better to go with a partner? You'd probably want to attend this with at least one friend, as there are very few (if any) single attendees. However, if you are a very outgoing person and are trying to meet people, there is ample time to talk to others at your table.
2. Was it convenient to participate in this activity? Registration on the tastedc web site was fantastically easy. The venue itself (in the house of the tastedc owner) was fairly easy to find because we were all familiar with the area, but may throw others off who are looking for more of a commercial space.
3. Was the activity a good value based on the registration fee? The activity fee was steep ($65) for the 2 1/2 hours -- although it did include unlimited wine and champagne and chocolate samples.
4. What were the participant demographics? There were more women than men and it seemed to be a young-ish crowd (late 20's/early 30's)
5. Logistics: Parking was street parking, and easy in this residential area. The venue itself was rather cramped. Because this takes place in the living space of the TasteDC owner, folding tables are set up in his living room, sunroom and dining room. This makes for cramped quarters. Also note: you will be using the owners personal bathrooms.
6. What should one wear/bring to the activity for maximum enjoyment? N/A
7. Level of physical fitness required (if applicable) : N/A
8. Should participants be there early to get a good seat? It's a good thing we arrived early, as there is a huge difference in visibility depending on where you sit. We got a table right up front and were able to see and hear the chocolate demonstration very well. There is a TV monitor set up that broadcasts the seminar as it is happening, but it was hard to see, and was constantly interrupted by the Taste DC owner talking about wine and promoting his company. Annoying. You may also want to get there early to talk to others at your table.
9. Size group that could be accommodated (if you wanted to organize a group outing. Any size.

January 2006 Activity -- Civil War Dancing

Activity: Civil War Dance Class
Date/Time/Location: Thursday, January 19th, Gadsby's Tavern Old Town Alexandria, VA
Ever wondered what Civil War re-enactors do in the off-season? Go to Civil War dance class, it appears. (Spoiler alert for any re-enactors that may be reading this -- the North won). I used to work with a guy who did Civil War re-enacting as a hobby. He used to whine about not being able to meet women. Dude...you're spending every weekend with a bunch of other guys, wearing woolen underpants and pretending you've never heard of American Idol. I'm sure that there are chicks somewhere that find that hot, I just don't know that you'd want to date them.
I digress. The Civil War dance class was actually pretty fun.

1. Is this an activity where someone would feel comfortable going alone or is it better to go with a partner? Definitely would be more comfortable attending with a partner and/or friends, although not mandatory. Is it easy to meet people at this activity? You do end up dancing with everyone in the class...although other than at breaks or at the end of the class, there is really no time for socializing. Note: there is a LOT of touching of strangers while dancing. If you have an issue with this (as some of us did), this may not be for you
2. Was it convenient to participate in this activity? Registration was very easy, however, the venue was very difficult to find. The class is held in the museum attached to the Tavern and there were no lights on in the museum, nor were there any signs indicating where the class was held. We had to search for about 15 mnutes to find the class, which could have been easily remedied with a few well-placed signs.
3. Was the activity a good value based on the registration fee? The fee was only $12 which covered about 3 hours of dance instruction -- a very good value for the money.
4. What were the participant demographics? Even mix of men and women and a pretty good distribution of ages.
5. Logistics - parking was a little difficult -- about what you'd expect in Old Town Alexandria on a Thursday night. Street parking is available, it just requires a little patience. The venue itself was beautiful -- a historic ballroom with wooden floors, a fireplace, and leaded glass windows.
6. What should one wear/bring to the activity for maximum enjoyment? Comfortable clothing and shoes -- you'll work up a sweat and need to have comfortable footwear to master steps and be able to dance comfortably.
7. Level of physical fitness required (if applicable) - need to be in reasonably good shape as this does provide somewhat of a workout.
8. Should participants be there early to get a good seat? Meet people? Get set up? Getting there a few minutes early is a good idea to ensure you can find the place. You may also want to chat with some of the others. There is no set up time necessary.
9. Size group that could be accommodated (if you wanted to organize a group outing). Any.